I had hopes for a silver lining in this book, but unfortunately I found none. The harsh truth conveyed by Kovic is unrelenting in its delivery, and it doesn’t let up for a mere second. I found strong emotional reactions while reading the second half of the book, most of it settling into downright disgust. What he has been through is unfathomable, and each succeeding page just helps this understanding I have. The flashbacks Kovic showed us of his wartime experience were easier to stomach than the treatment he recieved at home, especially at Nixon’s acceptance speech.
A corrupted official was elected once again, claiming to be the best choice for these soldiers. The veterans knew this was false, so several (Kovic included) went to protest his election. Among the ignorant, brainwashed masses sat the disabled veterans, who had to fight to get in simply because it would have shown some slight signs that maybe the war wasn’t perfect. Whilst the drones in the audience clapped in perfect unison, chanting “four more years” like some brainless meat puppets, Kovic held up a Stop the War sign. This simple action had a man assault him. Upon Nixon’s arrival and louder protests, they were wheeled away by security and spat upon by some pompous Nixon supporter… so blinded by his fanatacism that he was able to spit on a disabled man with such vehemence.
Kovic was jailed, hospitalized… he was even pushed out of his wheelchair and assaulted by police officers, and yet people somehow felt their opinion on a war meant more than the life of this man. There is really no word for their actions, and hopefully no word needs to be made, this blatant stupidity ending and being forgotten with Vietnam.

Reading about the processes undergone in order to have a national army meld some mild surprises. It is very easy to forget that this nation did not always have a national army, and that the government had to twist a few arms before people would enlist. Differences between the recruits and the decerated soldiers were very predictable, however, as was the resistance by draftees, even arguing that their marital status is a reason for not enlisting. The public demanded that immigrants be included in the drafts, but it is hard to believe that the military was practically forcing non-English speaking immigrants into the draft, even against the will of their embassies.
I cannot believe the number of precautions taken to make the transition easier, such as the Selective Service system not being  operated in public by the federal government. Before people could work up some fear of the government swooping in and stealing people away to the military, the Selective Service system showed some foresight and allowed the locals working in the 4,647 draft boards. I think that this is the same sort of logical thinking that should be used when America’s soldiers return.

I ended up focusing on the Union’s troops a lot more in this section, I suppose in part due to the large amounts of information and perspective on Confederate troops from Co. Aytch, even if this section deals with their postwar experience.
Having not lived during any sort of presidential assassination, I have never really given much thought to how the public would react, especially on behalf of the troops. It comes as no surprise, however, that commanders had to wrestle their troops into submission after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Much more of a shock was the fact that soldiers had to endure “some of the most grueling marches of the war” while the officers competed like children to be the first platoon home.
This chapter dealt with some of the more modern trends in battle, such as drug addiction (with sympathetic surgeons freely dispensing morphine), and the soldier petrified of returning to civilian life. I suppose both come as a shock to me, but not in any outstanding manner. I don’t see how anyone could attribute addiction to the soldiers alone… it is a problem that has existed for generations, and always will. It sort of bugs me that morphine addiction can be seen as “the army disease,” as it is just one more label alienating the returning soldier. Most civilians may not be aware of the veteran’s fear of having to integrate back into society, but by portraying them as criminals and addicts, they must understand they are causing harm. Surely every civilian couldn’t have viewed the veterans as criminals, and those who did couldn’t have seen every veteran as a criminal, so why was this the norm?

Co. Aytch explores something we have not seen in its second half, the soldier on the losing side of a battle. As retreats are made and losses increase, we find generals resigning and troops suffering greater casualties. All responsibility had been piled upon an incompetent and crippled general, and his ineffectiveness steadily grew more apparent. The army that had been mobilized to prevent a Northern invasion in Appomattox had failed to stop the inevitable fight as battles were brought further down South. Watkins is promoted for grabbing a Union flag, thus adding much more meaning to my Halo matches when I play Capture the Flag, but at the same time confusing me to no ends. Everybody seems to have the same reaction, and who can be blamed when priorities are so obscured? Stonewall Jackson would have a narcileptic guard killed, yet someone who captures a flag is given a promotion. For generalizations sake, everybody was fighting bravely, some even dying for their cause. While clearly the dead cannot be promoted, those with the kills aren’t appropriately recognized?

Co. Aytch may actually be a book I do not return after the end of class, I genuinely enjoy reading it. This is a more realistic telling of the Civil War, as it isn’t as severely weighed down by partisanship like other books, or the retrospective glance from an author writing hundreds of year in the future who knows more facts about the war than those who participated in it.
Watkins wrote with a more casual air about him, from admitting to his own mistakes and faulty memory to his referring to the Civil War as “the little unpleasant misconception of there being such a thing as a north and south” (pg. 3). The book gives us interesting perspectives as simple as his departure from Nashville, “bowling along twenty or thirty miles an hour” as if it were an awe-inspiring speed (pg. 7). Of course, Watkins’s observations extend beyond simple observations such as the speed of the trains, to the harsher reality of fighting in the Civil War. Stonewall Jackson, a famous and renown war hero, had two soldiers executed for stopping during a charge to carry off a wounded comrade (page 19). Men who fell asleep from severe sleep deprivation while on guard duty were executed so as to be made an example of (page 21). Soldiers had literally died standing, frozen to death, not bothering to make a fire or huddle for warmth for fear of abandoning their posts (page 23). All of these harsh and terrible events had occured before Watkins’s group had fought in their first big battle, and yet actions indescribable to us had already plagued the troops. It is unbelievable, but in their time it was just the harsh reality of things.
Throughout the first section, the Confederates feel unorganized and seem to have a much poorer force than that of the Union. Starvation is almost a theme of the book, with troops resorting to steal bread from men, eat raw meat, even eat rats. Things weren’t perfect for the North, but this book certainly doesn’t have me ready to grab my rifle and fight for the South.

Hey guys. I’m about to post a lot.

This was written in two parts: the first, a (biased) reaction to the reading. The second section was initially my reaction, but then it became a stream of consciousness and then things got political. I took this one more emotionally, so bear with me here.

I cannot believe the number of ways this era goes against everything I stand for. I’ve always held my own firm opinions on the subject, but there are a lot of changes even I didn’t realize happened at this time. I’d like to think that I am largely anti-materialistic, and the rampant consumerism of the capitalist swine Americans that we see emerging at this time is slightly pathetic. I will admit I am not the first to attend commemorative services on Memorial Day, but I do see it as more than a easy way to get a day off (at the same time, I didn’t realize such thought went into choosing three day weekends). This chapter has shown the government too proud to acknowledge its dead troops, too selfish to mark tombstones with any recognition of the Korean War minor-escalation-that-was-no-worse-than-a-snowball-fight-so-America-didn’t-really-lose-it-just-decided-it-didn’t-want-to-play-anymore. There are battles to have a Vietnam memorial, and not only do the Vietnam veterans have to fight the oldest battle against the government for fair treatment, but they also fought for the respect and honor that their predecessors had. While all wars have their opposing viewpoints (and apparently the Civil War gets the gold medal for the most intense protests), this was the worst case of the public channeling their frustration and anger to those who were broken by a war they hadn’t believed in. There is a reason this war saw a wider acceptance of post-traumatic stress syndrome… it is surprising anybody emerged sane. The video we saw in the last class has sort of been burned into my memory… a veteran living on a drug cocktail, afraid to leave behind one pill for fear of the repercussions. In my opinion it is a fate worse than death, and that thought will stand out stronger than any atrocity committed by the American troops in Vietnam. I would rather be killed than have to live day by day hiding behind a false persona created by medicines, because I am too afraid of my true self to trust living without the medication. The song featured has less to do with Vietnam and more with my sentiments on the video.
Chevelle – Vitamin R

I’ve always known that America wasn’t proud of the Korean War, but I never knew the lengths it went through to try and sweep the incident under the rug. It is almost disgusting that while the Koreans gave tribute to the America’s involvement in the war, the United States was fighting over whether or not it should be considered a war. I was almost livid upon reading that plans were underway to build a cold war memorial. One may as well spit on the tombstone of a dead soldier, it’s no less patriotic than refusing to admit that they died for a cause, just because somebody was too proud to admit that America didn’t emerge victorious from it.
Politics during the cold war are frustrating enough to make my brain hemorrhage, this isn’t something I try and hide. This is the beginning of a vicious cycle that we have seen recently during the Bush administration with the war on terror. Using fear to manipulate the people, be it through threat of nuclear war or terrorism, Americans found themselves entering random wars on behalf of “freedom.” I am going to be uncharacteristically bold and disagree with Mr. Piehler when he says the United States went through great lengths to minimize it’s participation in Vietnam until we had no choice. Former President Eisenhower based his foreign policy on the “domino theory,” that as communism took root in Asian countries, surrounding nations would follow suit and succumb to communism. Though future leaders expanded this view to most continents (see Reagan), even Eisenhower developed his theory with Southeast Asia in mind. The United States had already made up its mind as to what needed to be done to prevent the spread of communism, and a region was already picked (on a side note, Vietnam is in South Asia. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself!). Take into account a lot more irrelevant information, and Lyndon B. Johnson’s ties to Halliburton (Cheney didn’t invent war profiteering), and you have a war that was near inevitable.

Sadly (in my opinion), my knowledge of the Vietnam War is much more limited than of the Korean War and earlier conflicts. The way things in my extended family work it is impossible to agree on anything after the Vietnam War, so we just sort of look at the older periods of time which are more open for debate without being blinded by party affiliations and the like. At the same time, although I have taken classes in Asian history, I am much more knowledgable about Europe than I am Vietnam. A lot of this led to me being surprised with almost page we read.
I must say we are seeing the author’s bias come into play with the intro on Ho Chi Minh, an aged admirer and former ally of the United States. The numbers are staggering, seeing that we dropped three times the amount of bombs on Vietnam than on the Nazis… one could assume that the mass production of bombs had become more efficient and cheaper, but that doesn’t mean that their use was justified. At the same time, the brutal acts of the American troops were not justified, but with the utter confusion and fear they felt, with no clear purpose, their actions could more easily be associated with a mob or riot. I am admittedly very biased towards the troops in this war, more by a dread of becoming one of those who criticizes a soldier who had no business being sent overseas in the first place, but I have to say a lot of this is troublesome.
Agent Orange was a much bigger problem than I understood. I knew it was a big issue, and maybe it was given extra attention by the author, but this was still huge. Causing everything from cancer to the growth of extra digits, Agent Orange seems like something out of a sci-fi horror on paper. All of the politics behind the chemical and the war I was aware of, but I always figured it’s effects and total casualties were exagerrated.

“Twisted isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind.” – Chuck Palahniuk
Born on the Fourth of July is everything we want to pretend doesn’t happen in a war. The tone is darker than anything we have read, with a much darker author. He takes us through every necessary, disgusting aspect of war, from a man who literally loses half his head to a line of broken down, emotionally crippled soldiers waiting for an enema. There is almost a sense of poetry in his delivery (pg. 49, the second full paragraph), but it does nothing but enhance the loathing and despair these men have for their worlds.
Vietnam was brutal, and camaraderie was seemingly less present. Men saved each other and died for one another, but there was a lot of (justifiably) selfish behavior (and I do not mean that in a negative sense). In Doing Battle, Fussell shouts at a man faking appendicitis, saying “there are people here hurt much worse than you are, so SHUT UP” (pg. 144). According to Fussell, he had avoided conflict by groaning and moaning about his condition that suddenly acted up. In Born on the Fourth of July, Kovic also makes it a point to criticize a soldier… only this time the man had no legs. Understandably, Kovic is permitted to be less civil when he’s dying, but in his desire to capture every detail, he writes as he felt. The line was almost something of a dark comedy: “there is a man without any legs screaming in pain, moaning like a little baby” (page 32). He constantly referred to his changing opinion the war, it didn’t take very long to become disillusioned from the marine recruiters who were “like all the movies and all the books and all the dreams of becoming a hero come true” (pg. 81).
This reading was so powerful it made me feel like my opinion of war had changed… even though I am a pacifist (believe it or not), the atrocities he described made me feel guilty, like I’m some sort of warmonger. I don’t know what to make of it at this time, but we’ll see if we can find a silver lining amongst the decay.

The first chapter of our reading has a special meaning for me (albeit forced). Most of my friends are feminists, and obviously all of them have benefited from the strides made for women’s rights in this time. One of my closest friends has an older sister in the army, and growing up next door to Norfolk there was a strong naval presence throughout my life.
It was unusual reading about the female at the heart of the battle… as champions of women’s rights, they certainly felt seperate from other women upon returning home. Granted, their state of mind was understandable. They had fought on two fronts simultaneously, the battle to be put into the war, close to the battles, and then at the actual frontlines. Many of them had been placed in the same gory battles that men had, alongside a military that had grown to accept them, only to be sent home to battle a narrow-minded government that refused to see them as equals. In the 1980′s women were still being denied access to a lot of VA hospitals. Disgusting isn’t the right word, but it is the first that comes to mind.

On another note, on a personal note, I am going to turn things around. This is all for my benefit, so none of this you need to read. I have been in a spiral, things have been out of control, I have dug myself into a hole that I am only 30% sure I can get out of. I am going to bring things around, things are going to change. I am going to get everything back on track, and all of my personal demons have been excorcised.
I don’t care what effect will or will not have on my grades, but I am going to catch up. All readings for which I have not written blogs, I will post my reactions to. This is solely for my benefit that I say this, and that I will post all the blogs, but if you feel like some easy comments feel free.

15-colors

This song is Colors, by Crossfade, because these have surely not been the best colors that I shine.